


wherever you’re going i’m going your way

by frankchurchillsaysrelax



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Dream Sequence, Gen, yes this is what my dreams are like
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-13
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-13 13:40:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29402814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/frankchurchillsaysrelax/pseuds/frankchurchillsaysrelax
Summary: That night Buck dreams of a person he’s never met, of a life that was never lived. He has nothing to work with apart from a photo and a name, but he’s always had an active imagination and tonight it carries him to places that could have been.
Kudos: 29
Collections: 9-1-1 Tales





	wherever you’re going i’m going your way

**Author's Note:**

> My first ever 9-1-1 fic and it has to be a dream sequence because of course. Originally posted over on tumblr.

That night Buck dreams of a person he’s never met, of a life that was never lived. He has nothing to work with apart from a photo and a name, but he’s always had an active imagination and tonight it carries him to places that could have been.

.

_The house Buck stands in front of is dark and cold, shadows creeping out of the ground, curling mysteriously along the siding as the wind whistles secrets against shuttered windows. He doesn’t know this place. He doesn’t like this place. He knows he should walk away but his feet feel stuck, anchored to this spot._

_“Evan!”_

_He turns to look down the street and sees a boy on a bike riding straight towards him. He looks familiar and just his presence breathes warmth into the air. Buck feels like he can move again and when he does he’s just a little boy, gangly limbs tripping him up as he moves to be closer to the older boy, desperately wanting to be caught up in his orbit._

_Gravel kicks up where tires come to an abrupt stop. The sun shines brightly behind the boy, reflecting off of sandy blonde curls and expanding that feeling of warmth all around them. He knows this boy, he just can’t remember where from._

_“You know mom doesn’t like you being out here by yourself,” the boy says. “Get inside before you get yourself in trouble, kid.”_

_“I’m not by myself!” Buck laughs, running up to the bike, reaching out with stubby fingers wrapped around the handlebars, his feet only just skimming the ground. The boy’s balance never waivers, seemingly well accustomed to this move._

_“Can I ride on your handlebars, Danny? Please?” Buck looks up, squinting against the sun. He draws the last word out with an exaggerated pout of his lips and he knows, just knows, that this boy will do whatever he asks._

_The boy, Danny, shakes his head but is smiling. “Don’t tell mom,” he orders seriously before reaching out to pick Buck up and put him in place on the bike. Buck feels like a king on his throne from way up here with no fear of any danger coming to him. Danny would never allow it._

_Wind whips against his cheeks catching the corners of his smile as they ride together down the street._

_Buck feels the wind against his face but realizes too late that he is falling. He’s falling and there is nothing to catch him, just his hands meeting pavement. There’s the burning feeling of skin breaking and then his knees hit the ground sending pain ricocheting up his legs. Laughter is the next thing he’s aware of, coming at him from all sides, pushing him down further into the hot blacktop beneath him._

_“Stay down, you freak.” Buck looks up and oh, he instantly remembers being here before. Sam Powers hovers over him with a sneer on his freckled face. It’s third grade and Sam has once again decided he’d rather not look at Buck’s birthmark any longer. Dread builds at the memory of what comes next. Behind them a bus door closes as the oblivious driver pulls away from the curb, little faces pushed up against glass to watch Buck’s torment._

_“Get away from him you little creep.” The words sound like a roar, louder than any bus or laughter or shame._

_Buck looks up from his spot on the ground to see Daniel striding towards them through the circle of onlooking children. He looks like a god from down here, Buck thinks. He’s so tall that his golden hair touches the sky and his letterman’s jacket draws a chorus of unsuppressed awe from the crowd. He’s nothing but impressive and Buck feels only pride at the knowledge that this is his brother, come to save the day._

_This never happened back then, Buck thinks sadly. The thought floats away as quickly as it came and then he’s back in the present watching as his savior finally reaches him, bending down to help him up and dust him off. The other kids watch on but Daniel pays them no mind as he takes Buck’s small hands in his and frowns at the angry, red skin peeling away from his palms. The skin feels cooler under such careful attention._

_“Come on, kid.” He puts an arm around Buck’s shoulders and leads him away from the scene. They stop long enough for Daniel to level Sam with a glare so threatening it leaves the bully visibly shaken, freckles more stark against his pale drawn face._

_Buck smiles the whole way towards the jeep he himself drove through high school. Once he’s settled in the passenger’s seat, Buck shares a look with his brother, feeling like he’s being included in a secret and instantly feeling infinitely cooler than the sad memory of the little boy curled up on the ground surrounded by his laughing peers. Daniel closes the door with a wink._

_Buck slams the door to his jeep and clicks the button to lock the door with an echoing beep. His shoulders are heavy beneath the weight of his backpack and the general stress of being a senior in high school. He drags his tired feet across the driveway and lets himself into the side door of the house._

_“Hi, honey,” his mom’s voice carries out from the kitchen, cheerful and soothing like warm tea and honey on a rainy day._

_The backpack has disappeared from his shoulders but the oppressive weight remains and Buck is drawn to her, seeking out the palliative nature that fills the house with only two words._

_“Hi mom,” he says quietly, pressing a brief kiss to her cheek. It feels totally normal, habitual, like they have been this affectionate his entire life._

_She looks different, wrong somehow. She’s older than she should be, her hair shorter than she used to wear. She’s smiling, he realizes. Her smile is warm, comforting, and safe, highlighting the creases at the corners of her eyes, and before he knows it he is dragging her closer for a hug._

_She wraps her arms around him without hesitation, her hands rub gentle circles between his shoulders and it feels like Maddie or Athena but more. It feels like a hug from his mom._

_“There’s something for you on the table,” she tells him. He separates himself from the embrace reluctantly, arms moving to a script he doesn’t want to follow, and walks towards the kitchen table. On it is a large white envelope, the blue and white Nittany lion staring up at him, bold and proud. His mom’s hand rests easily on his shoulder and stops him from floating above solid ground._

_“Congratulations, honey.” He was alone the last time this happened. “Your father and I couldn’t be more proud.” The words have him spinning with an unknown happiness._

_He spins around and there is Maddie in her old nurses’ scrubs looking exhausted but healthy and so young._

_“Maddie! You’re here.”_

_“Of course I’m here, Evan,” she says tiredly. “I work here.” She’s evasive, walking around him without looking directly at him. Her sneakers squeak against the too clean hospital floors as she walks further away. The wide, white halls surround them but in the corner a shadow looms, waiting for a chance to reach out and swallow them in its darkness._

_“You haven’t been answering any of my calls. Or mom’s. Or Daniel’s.” He reaches out for her, unsurprised but still guilty when she flinches slightly. The shadow coils like a snake ready to strike. “We’re worried about you Maddie.”_

_“There’s nothing to worry about, Evan.” She finally looks at him, a familiar perfectly fake smile spread too tight across her face. “I’m happy,” she promises. She takes a step closer to the shadow. “I’ve just been busy, that’s all.”_

_“I don’t believe you. Please, Maddie, talk to me. I know something is wrong with him, I know you need to get away. Please just leave him,” he pleads. All the words he never had the guts to say come flowing out as a river of truth._

_A pinky wraps around his though Maddie does not move. The shadow curls around her leg, claiming her. Buck looks to his right and there is Daniel in his white doctor’s coat standing strong and silent beside him. It’s like that day on the playground all over again only now Buck stands tall beside him. Together they are unstoppable. A united front. They each reach a pinky out towards their sister._

_“Come with us, Maddie,” Daniel tells her with an authoritative big brother voice. Sunshine pours from his mouth cutting at the shadow with sharp rays of light._

_She looks between them and finally, finally closes the circle, pinkies locked together with theirs allowing them to pull her toward warmth and safety, a light brighter than any other emerging from her to scare the darkness away._

_The flash nearly blinds him. Maddie takes photo after photo of him and the small bundle in his arms. His niece is like air his hands try too hard to hold onto, far too fragile for someone so big to be holding all by himself._

_“Be sure to cradle the head.”_

_Daniel is here, of course he is. Present at the official welcoming party for their tiny, precious niece and as always steady at his side. Athena and Bobby’s back yard is bursting with life and love once again as everyone Buck loves gathers in one place._

_His mom and dad, now holding the baby, stand off to the side, bright smiles on their faces that Buck has never seen before. Maddie glows at the center of everything as Chimney, Hen and Eddie orbit around her. Bobby and Michael are at the grill while Athena, Karen, and May play with the kids. Everyone here, happy, healthy, and alive, the air buzzing with energy._

_“This is a pretty good family you’ve got here, kid.”_

_Buck turns to look at his brother but instead finds that young boy on the bike watching the group of people around them with a wistful look on his face._

.

Buck wakes to the early morning light shining through his windows. Despite this and the noise Albert makes downstairs, he squeezes his eyes shut tight, desperate to not let the dregs of his dreams slip out of reach.


End file.
